Ep 1 | Spiritual Authenticity: When What You Were Handed Stops Fitting

What happens when the spiritual path you inherited doesn’t fit anymore — when the prayers don’t match the behavior and the questions aren’t welcome?

In this episode, Hemali and Sheila share their own stories of growing up inside belief systems that shaped them — Sanatan Dharma (Hinduism), Catholicism, Christianity,  boarding school chapels, ashrams, and everything in between. They talk about the grief of walking away, the fear of questioning, and the unexpected return to pieces of what they were handed — but this time on their own terms.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for questioning what you were taught about God, religion, or spirituality, this one’s for you. The questioning isn’t the problem, it’s the path.

New episodes every other Tuesday. Pull up a seat.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Today we are sharing what happens when the spiritual path you inherited stops fitting, when the prayers don't match the behavior, when the questions aren't welcome, and when you realize the answers might not be where you were told to look. If you've ever felt guilty for questioning what you were taught about God, religion, or spirituality, stay with us. By the end, you might give yourself permission to trust what you've always known.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

We have been talking about spiritual authenticity now for a good three months, I think. Yeah. And we've been wanting to share what happens when what you've been handed down inherited from culture, society, parents. What happens when it doesn't fit any longer? When it feels constrictive and uncomfortable and not really yours. So today we're gonna share our own individual stories revolving around the theme of shedding inherited religion and belief systems to finally find who we are and live in that understanding. So we're gonna start up with Himali. I want to hear from you. Tell me about life growing up. How is that?

SPEAKER_01 1:54

It's such a powerful topic to discuss or talk about. Growing up, I I was born in India, I grew up in India. I feel that since you're born, you know, you hear stories to go to sleep, to feed, like you're surrounded by stories of God and prayers, and they put you to sleep singing prayers. So the second you're every atom of your body, and they even say when the woman is pregnant that she should be listening to scriptures, reading scriptures, because all that comes through to the baby that is growing within her to be happy, to, you know, so it's almost like bringing that. So you're surrounded with that messages coming. And I grew up in, or what we follow is Sanatan Dharm, which is the world calls it Hinduism, but it's actually Sanatan Dharm, and what it means is the way of life. Beautiful. Yeah, so just um in my house, my dad and my mom both prayed daily in the morning. And what they called was they did was Seva, a devotion towards God. So we had a temple in the house, and it's like a playful thing with a God where, you know, they they wake him up, they're praying as all this is happening, they're preparing offering, they're praying while they're preparing offering. I mean, they're praying when they're showering, too. So it's like you hear this constantly in the house, and that that prayers and all that takes almost two hours. Even when we moved to US, they worked at seven, but yet they woke up at four in the morning so that they would give that two hours before they went to work. And that's the first thing they they do. But they were not so restrictive and forceful in terms of the this is what we need to do and this is what we need to follow. But if I go to my mom's, my maternal grandmother's house, you know, of course, my grandmother's always upset my at my mom for not showing us that way, not forcing us to remember these prayers. I mean, you see any household, these little kids, they grew up, they they are singing the prayers, they are chanting the prayers as young as they as soon as they start talking. That's what they're singing. Because that's what they've been hearing constantly. It's different now, but you know, you they grew up singing some of these other songs that, you know, but regardless, that's how it was growing up.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

How did it feel like for you when you were little? What was your like, if you would say at the age of blank, this is how I looked to my parents' devotion? Like, what did that feel like?

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I think that I never deeply looked at it that way. It was because that's just the way it was done. And you kind of just follow that. You just kind of on the other hand, I see my cousins in them, and they did was following what their parents were following. My cousins lived with that bigger, what is it, like a joint family, they call it. So three of my uncles lived together, their wives, their kids, and my grandmother, everybody lived together. So they grew up in that environment where every day everybody was sitting and praying in the morning and doing this offerings and that seva, they call it, service. So I think when I was maybe around eight, nine, that I started questioning a little bit, asking why, why do I need to do this? Tell me why, and I will follow it. Like, why is why are you doing certain things? What is the offering for? Why are you staying hungry till 12, 1 o'clock? You have diabetes, blood pressure, you need to take medication. You know, why are you not eating before you start, you know, serve? So they offer and then they eat. Their first meal, my grandmother could be, she would walk miles and miles to get to certain places, and and then she won't take any autoriksha or any transportation, like they're saving money. These grandmothers they come and they give all this money to either the temple or the priest. So, or when they're praying, and then they you turn around, you know, somebody's gossiping and they're into that conversation, or they're saying something about someone, and it's just like, well, why, you know, here you are sitting and praying and such with with such authenticity, but yet you turn around and how like it wasn't fitting. It's like contradiction. It just wasn't sitting well with me. So all these questions kept coming for me. So, but tell me about your childhood and how you know you grew up and what was your, you know, in terms of religious upbringing or spiritual upbringing.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

For me, I grew up with my grandma and my grandpa and my dad in an extended family type of situation, like you said, joint until my dad remarried when I was nine. And I had pretty much no ritual per se, right? We didn't go to church, but we were a Catholic family, right? So that the Bible was always there. My grandma lit candles and prayed, you know, she prayed the rosary. So that existed, and it was not ever imposed upon us that we had to follow any particular religion. And that felt a little freeing in a way, because around us, most families had a very defined religious upbringing, and that was different for me in a way, until, and I can never forget this, and I can never talk about this without mentioning this part. I had an uncle who has since passed, but I had an uncle who started questioning God and trying to look for God in different places. So here I am, between the ages of seven and eight, going to church. And for him, it was more like an exploration to see where he fit. But for me, it was the same type of feeling. I would reach whichever denominational church he went into, which were many, um, with their prayers, sit with their rituals, and soak in that divine aspect of being in a congregation in such a ceremonial way. And it left such a huge impression to me as a child. I wanted more. Wow, God is here. I want more of God. Is what do I need to do to continue to follow this footsteps? So I go to heaven, right? Because I'm a little girl and I don't have such a set structure at home. But my uncle was determined to find his path and in a way introduce me to my own, right? It was like, here you go, let's explore together. We would sit after and talk about whatever religious book we had, depending on the denomination, mostly a Bible. But we'll sit and talk about the passages and what they meant. And for me, it fostered a deep, deep connection to ritualistic expression of God and the steps that I had to take in order to get to heaven. And as a child, that was my end-all be all. My only job was to be a good girl so that I can get to heaven. Otherwise, that's not gonna happen. And I knew I definitely did not want to go to hell, right? Because you keep hearing that in the background. Um, even with lacking some certain structure, you could see, oh, you don't say that. Oh, we don't talk about that. Things would happen, and my family would be like, hush, hush, you don't say that, right? You don't question, you just do it, you just follow it along, follow the steps. Um, so it was very interesting. So I went from this curious, explorative child with kind of like a blank page when it came to religion, to at the age of seven and eight, deeply immersed in whichever religion my uncle was. It was super interesting to me the way in which he decided at one point with each of them to say, this one's not for me. You know, so it gave me kind of like a little ways of my navigation too. I could see what he was looking at, like and saying, okay, this this is this is not mine to carry. I don't want to follow this particular step. So I'm gonna go and try a different denomination or a different religious path. So I am very grateful that I had him because it served me for so such a long time to have this deep awareness that there is something bigger out there, that we are not just floating around and that we're not just this experience, right? And religion, the ritual of religion, the sacredness of religion was perfect. It was beautiful. I had all the answers, or so I thought. I had all the steps, or so I thought, and I just went along with my uncle, and it became a bonding for both of us, but then I started seeing things like you mentioned. I started seeing the difference between behaviors at home from people from the congregation, and then the behavior or the persona they showed up at church or at temple. And I started questioning wait, if you have the sacred book, the most sacred book, and you have all of the steps, why is your life not reflecting that you're following that? Right? And it was a huge, completely explosion within my mind, mind you, at about eight years old, but it was very cathartic because I was like, I don't understand. You have all the steps to heaven and you're not following them, but you're going to church and you're saying you're following them, you're saying the prayers, and you're sitting with the songs, you're sitting there in the presence of the God, and you are not following the commandments to get into heaven. And that highlighted a lot for me. And then that's where my questioning started. Is this for me? Is God still there? Is God still there, regardless of if I go to temple or church, if I misbehave and lie, is God still there? Right?

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Yeah. And I think that's what it was. It was like, why for me too? It's like, why are we doing this? And I remember when you said, you know, is God here or there? As kids, you know, they tell you that God is everywhere. You can't see him, but he's everywhere. He's in you, he's there, he's over there in the tree and the food you eat. He's everywhere. I was like, no, but I want to see him. Why can't I see him? What's wrong? Why is he not showing up? So I had lots of why, why, why. And I, you know, my dad believed in doing service to the people that that's how you reach God. So it's like difference in that, you know, helping, serving, feeding, whatever that is in his capacity that he could do. And so that was that one path. And the other path was this religious. So I understand, like, I've had this love and hate relationship with I say with religious establishments and the people that govern it.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

I've had some strong, and then it's like when I am in that hate phase, so to speak, or dislike phase, I don't like to use the hate word. I like cut off everything. I don't go, I boycott it, but that's where you know, the questioning. Nobody wants to answer the question. Why? Why are you doing this? Tell me, and I want to follow it with my soul, with my heart, and do it with thousand percent. Yeah. You know, I was in a boarding school, a Christian boarding school too. So I have been immersed in the Christianity uh way I was 11, 12 years old, and I started praying to Jesus and went to church, I was in choir. Nothing wrong. I mean, when I went back home, but yet in my inner soul, when I was in struggle or anything, that that because I prayed every day, read the Bible and all that, that Jesus or prayer to Jesus came through automatically. Yeah. So, but even then, again, the deeper I go into any religion or understanding, it just becomes this disconnection of people and what they believe and what the teachings are and the values are. And that's when I was like, okay, I don't like this. And I get into that anger and frustration feeling of disbelief is like, but always like searching for, like I was just searching for something that that higher power, that greater being, like just something wasn't sitting well or right.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Yeah, I can so attest to that. Same. I started questioning. It was my questions. And I don't think we I didn't feel safe in asking. Not the not my family, but also not the spiritual teachers, the priests or the pastors, right? I felt as though I just have to follow it. There are no questions here. Do just follow this. And we grew up in a different time, and maybe that has something to do with that aspect. But questioning the why of something is my reason of living now. I question everything. I couldn't go on without questioning. And that search for deep connection to the divine, even though I walked away from it at a young age, completely blocked it. I said, it is not possible that we have been given the book with all the answers and the steps to reach heaven. And it doesn't look like that when you lead your life, not according to those principles, right? For me, that was enough to sever that relationship. It felt like grief. I grieved it. I remember feeling like, oh my gosh, I am lost. I am I'm going to hell. The whole reason this is happening is because I'm going to hell, right? I had no one to turn to and no one to ask, no one to answer my questions. Questioning itself was wrong. And I felt like my divinity couldn't exist because I was not following the commandments of any specific church. You put a put a name there, right? But it made me feel completely isolated. And I was young, I was a child still. But that deep grief made way for me to say, you know what? I'm just gonna disconnect. I don't need this. So around the age of, I don't know, 12, 13, I was like, not talking about this, you know? I want to go to church, don't want anything to do with anything. People are supposed to be following this guidance and they don't follow it, so why should I? And it made me really fear that I was not good, that I was not going to heaven to be with the people I loved, that there was no afterlife for me, right? And I decided to just step away. And it wasn't until in my 20s, out of all places, I arrived at an ashram. And I sat with the deities, I sat in prayer, participated in seva, began to explore culture and a way of life and the knowledge of spirit within, therefore, God within. Therefore, we're all one, right? Out of the blue, it became my life. That aspect of ritual, devotional, sacred observance of the divine returned because I was taught how to chant, how to meditate, how to have my own connection to the divine without having to be in a house of worship. And the fact that I was told I could do this. No, no, no. What are you talking about? There's no in-between. God is here. Always has been, always will be. And it became my savior, right? It gave me back that anchor. Okay, I am not lost. No church ever fit because God has been within me all along, not external, but present. And when I began to walk into my own self and have my own very personal experiences and meditation and connecting to a higher aspect, prayer returned. And that connection to Jesus returned. And slowly, parts of my childhood that felt left behind, broken, disjointed were healed, repaired. And I would not trade my journey for anything else. He's taught me so much. But the fact that I returned to myself in an ashram, chanting in Sanskrit, loving the God within and not externalizing it blows my mind. It's the furthest thing from growing up in the Dominican Republic that you could get to.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

That's so beautiful. You know, I can just listening to you. It's like almost similar path and journey and experiences that we've had. And, you know, I talk about how I was praying to Jesus and then turn around, my kids went to Christian school. And so Bible, so Christianity and Sanat and Dharm has been part of who I am. But at the same time, it's like I was exploring, at some point, I was exploring shamanism, breath work, you know, just looking for that outside of me. What do I belong to? What do I fit into? And then coming back from one of the trips in Mexico, I went to a retreat in Oaxaca and then came back. And I went to a friend's mother's funeral, and I felt they were praying the same prayers that I've listened to. I grew up and I was like, this is home. I'm like crying, yes, besides the point that it's a funeral, but it was a funeral. But that understanding and that finding of this is me, this is home. And just like you, it's like circling back, exploring, diving into different religion, different practices, understanding them, that external looking for all that, and then coming back. And then when I started dwelling into Bhagavad Gita, which is a Bible spiritual scripture for Sanatan Dharm, Hinduism. Um, and it's, you know, I think about it that Bible in English, it's a, I feel it's a simple language people can understand and it's easy to grasp. And so it's so easy to adapt to. But when you look at Bhagavad Gita or any scriptures, and I've talked to so many people that because it's in Sanskrit, nobody studies Sanskrit now. Even though it's in different languages, Hindi, Gujarati, whatever it may be, something gets lost in translation. And when you because you only study in English, now you try to read Bhagavad Gita. English is a very limited language. And so to understand that, anyway, to bring that whole circle, it's like when I realized, okay, what is Sanatan Dharma teaching? Self realization. You need to get to self realization, and that's it. And we talk about heaven, hell, it's almost like liberation. How do you get liberated? What does it mean to be liberated? And just coming, and everything just kind of came. Together. Okay, let's explore the self. Let's go within to look for the answers. God is within us. That is our innate nature. When we talk about temple being within us, it's like temple is in our mind. We don't need to go out. We don't need to, you know, just finding that answer. It's like who you are. I am that I am, if we talk about, right? Right. So just dwelling deep inside. And I think that just grounded me. That's just brought everything together for me. Just being in that perspective of just reading the scriptures in a different way, in different perspective, just brought me back to home to myself.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Beautiful. And that's exactly what it everything is about. It's not about at least the way I perceive things now. It's not about the division. Oh, I I follow this or I follow that or I follow X, Y, and Z. And it's about who are you without those labels? What applies to you without the label? So if you start questioning the religion or the spirituality or the any belief system you've been handed down, who are you? What fits for you? What makes that essence of the divine be alive within you? What helps you move in that same way on this planet, living by the principles we're taught in religion or spirituality? They all teach the same, same exact principles. Love one another, be grateful, do not do unto others what you don't want done to yourself to yourself, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

So it is in the questioning, what fits for me, what brings me back to center. Because after that experience at the age of 20, being in an ashram, gathering all these tools, that didn't stop. That wasn't my it. That was my window. That was a door back into no, you are divine. Then fast forward a little a little further than that to 2020, having almost lost my life and being carried back into this realm by Master Jesus, really coming back into this planet with a different awareness. No, no, no, you have more to do. There is more here. Returning with the now knowledge, there's more. The ashram helped me tapped in. The meditation helped me silence the noise in my head. Now let's activate the other part. The deep questions. Why do I do what I do? How can I move in love? And not the love we're used to talking about, but capital L love. That divine love, that aspect that people reach in moments where it's like a what is it called? Near death experience.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Right? That tapping into a near-death experience type of moment of there is the divine, the most love I've ever known. And I don't want to leave it. So exploring what that looks like for you specifically, internally, externally, there are so many tools. There are so many teachings. There are there's so much we can hold on to until we can navigate from within, right? But I think that the whole journey is about what works for you. How do you reach that divine aspect, that divine wisdom, that internal compass? How do you turn that on, right? And it starts with the questioning. Why do I do that? Absolutely. Why? Why do I gravitate to a specific thing? What is in here for me? We've been taught sometimes that it's wrong to question. No, you don't question. We just do. We just follow along. Yeah. But that's the key. The questioning is the key to remembrance. The questioning is the key to the return. The questioning is the key to knowing thyself.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

It's a curiosity, right? Like be curious, be an explore. I was like, question the question. You know, I really, and I love that who am I without the labels? If you sit and do that, you it's amazing how many things you will still, well, I'm a mom. No. Who are you without that label of mom, daughter, or any kind of credentials that you've acquired? Who are you? Explore that who are you. And it's like, are we separating? Because that's again, yes, it's part of you, but without the label, who are you? What does what do you stand for? And even when you talk about love, it's like I had to explore what love means to me. What does love really mean? Because it can mean different things for different people. And and again, we're not talking about that love as the love for a partner or anything. But in general, love, acceptance, belonging, all those things, exploring these words in depth. Be curious, just be open. And I think that when I got deeper into spirituality, the meditation, the practice of just the energy, I got closer to divine. Or realizing the divinity within me, that I am not separate. My divine is not separate from me. I am that.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Yeah. And the divine is not separate from each other. Exactly. Right? We're still joined. We're still source. We're still the creator, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think one of it's important to mention that as you go into the exploration, you can experience fear. You can experience grief. It's like, am I supposed to be doing this? Right? That fear of questioning, but am I going to lose my family? Am I potentially going to lose heaven? Because I'm exploring, right? But the idea is that you explore at your own pace. The idea is that if something is calling to you, question what about it is calling you, right? Where are you being guided? Because that's internal guidance. Everything we're attracted to, we resonate with in an energetic level for a reason. And it's important to remember that we're talking about years of journeys. I'm talking about since the age of seven. And there's been many, much information gathered. There's been many paths explored. There's been many tools used.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

The idea is that even through that wonderment of fear, why are you afraid? Sit with that.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

And then go as far as you feel comfortable in. And then push a little past the comfort. Because walking this journey of real spiritual authenticity can only happen if the guidance and you are your resource is coming through you from you, right? Because if it continues only to be externalized, you will always be only searching without putting things into practice. And it's important as we move along and gather information and practice different modalities and hone in what aspect of what fits for us. Because it can be a spirituality or religion. I'm not saying abandon who you are and who you're comfortable being. I'm saying if there's a question there, explore it. Take time. There was fear for me. I felt like I'm I'm losing my center. And at times I felt, does this go against God? Does chanting in a language I don't know? What am I saying? Am I going against God? Right? Because I was really new and I really wanted to explore it. So I learned to sit with that in meditation. And I also learned to allow my body to guide me. If it feels like it fits, go for it. If you feel a recognition, go for it. Which is what Siddha Yoga was for me: recognition. I saw myself reflected back. I saw a path of returning back home. Explore it for yourselves. That's all we're saying with everything we're bringing up. Give yourself the opportunity to find peace in your religion, in your belief, in your spiritual path, in your journey, in your life.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

I totally agree with you. And, you know, right now, my life, my spiritual life, just what I'm exploring, the meditation, you know, I continue to do the meditation, prayers.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Because I return to myself and continue to discover new things, new pathways, new ways in which to tap into the divine, I still feel like that little child now can bring in her prayers back. I still pray. Jesus is one of the most important figures for me, a very personal guide. Having felt that he brought me back into life after being hospitalized and almost losing my life, I have a very special and very close connection to Master Jesus. One of the first things I call forth whenever I'm feeling troubled is that. So when we learn to explore, it's not about leaving behind completely. It's never about renouncing something. It may be for you, but for me, there was a return to the, excuse me, to the early days, to the actual sitting, the sacredness. I could go to church and I enjoy a sermon fully. I get goosebumps. I feel connected to God, but the mind is quiet because the questioning I had when I was little doesn't exist anymore. I've satisfied that questioning. I've found the answers I needed. I can go to any temple, any denominational space, and I can be there and receive and connect and find communion with God. And it doesn't have to be a temple, right? It can be outside with my trees, with my dogs, with my husband, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Or yeah, I meditate like even I'm sitting at the light and I can go into the deepest meditation and still be aware once the light turns green to start going. But I understand, and I think when you were talking about the fear, I think, you know, for me too, I had this in-between time. You know, I grew up praying to Krishna, baby Krishna, and the ways and life and like just know all the stories about him. Then something shifted for me, especially after my dad passed away. You know, I went into this existential crisis and just really exploring what death is. And that I then I set a beginning of praying to Shiva, Shiva. And what at some point I was questioning that and I felt like guilty that, oh my God, you know, I'm sorry, Krishna, I've moved on to Shiva. How crazy it sounds. But and the funny thing is, I was talking to someone and um they're like, oh my God, I felt the same way. So then I felt better that I'm not the only one. And I think this is also our purpose to allow to for people to listen to us and to say that you're not alone for feeling the way you're feeling and to explore spirituality or a religion. And as I used to tell my kids all the time, it's like if a religion is gonna bring up the fear factor to for you to move towards that religion, God is not fear. Yes, God is all love, it is all love. That is all there is is love. Yes, he, she is not about fear. They don't want to scare you into doing things, into being. We are created from love, and that is all there is is love. And so, you know, that that transition of, I know I was talking about this whole going from Krishna to Shiva, and then, you know, some the girl I was talking to, she's like, Yeah, I started doing more of that Shakti prayer into that Shakti beings, and and is that okay? Is that okay to move from one God to the other? And and really, like you said, you know, how with all this exploration, I'm 53, and the years of exploration and amount of experimentation, so to speak, uh, and learning and searching, it's like coming back to that once you find that divine within you, that your true nature, your soul's nature, the questioning stops, the why stops. I mean, there are some aspects, like I want to know why I'm doing certain things, certain tradition or customs, or uh in terms of in Sanatan Dharm. Um, but besides that, it's not that longing. Like I already know, I already belong, you know, and so that exploration has stopped. But of course, you know, moving forward, it's like, what does my daily life look like? Do I meditate every day? Maybe not. I would like to be. Uh I would love to wake up 3:30 to, you know, or 4 in the morning and meditate and do the practice prayers and things like that. I do, although before I get out of bed, I do certain prayer, just bringing in the energy of playfulness, energy of wisdom and strength and power, energy of it's it's a Sanskrit prayer that I chant. And then before I put my feet on the floor, I give thanks to Mother Earth, the divine earth, um, and the mountains and rivers and all of them before I put any of my weight onto earth, before I start. So that's one thing that I feel I'm consistent with, but definitely want to go deeper into the prayers and meditation and practices that discipline. I'm still working on it. It's gonna happen. Maybe, maybe when I'm 90, I will have the discipline packed.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Yeah, I don't, I think uh what happens is you find peace. Yeah, you find silence, you find understanding, and there's no level of fear anymore because you've explored so much. I think for me, I will always be in my journey. The world is so beautifully big, and there are so many different people in this planet, so many different paths to explore, so many journeys to embark on. And I'm such a curious person, right? That I will forever be a student of this world. Absolutely. Myself too. And the joy that I derive from understanding other people helps me more understand myself and aspects of who I am. So I may not look like on paper, like where's the discipline? Listen, I put in years of meditation that lasted for hours. Yeah. I 20 minutes is good for me. I got it. You know, it doesn't have to take a specific amount of time, but what you find is after you've put these things into practice, you develop a sense of anchoring, of real knowing, of real understanding of why you behave the way you do when it comes to religion, spirituality, or any other belief system, right? And that gives you peace. And in finding that peace, you return to that wholeness and you understand it's okay to be where I am. And that's where I am right now. I don't look perfect on paper, okay? You're not gonna see a list of checklists, check, check, check consistently enough. But what I do every day is remember that I'm not alone. That, like you said, the only true energy is love, and we all come from that same source, right? So anything that brings me fear, I know it does it doesn't belong to the truth. It doesn't belong to me.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

I my hope, my wish is that people listening can self-identify with some parts, all parts, maybe a part of this conversation and just allow themselves the time to explore what is true for them, what is real for them, where they're at. And wherever you're at is the perfect place to start.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Absolutely. And I think I want to clarify one thing, you know, when I was just, you know, I was talking about moving from Krishna to Shiva, or but to understand this was in the beginning, and to come to that understanding that regardless, all is energy, and it is one energy. There is no separation between any divinity. Divine is just that one with separate, different kinds of energies. There and their names bring a different energy. Like me, Himali, has a different energy than Sheila energy, Sheila's energy, but that doesn't mean that it's different, it's separate from that divine. The aspect is the same. And so we come into that non-duality of things where everything is one. Everything is that in that space of divinity, in that nature of divinity.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

What would you say to someone that's just starting to question where they're at?

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Again, I would just ask them to be in the feeling, be in the heart space, to see how it feels to when you're exploring, ask questions, ask why, do things and explore things, be in that fearless mode, so to speak, and just come back. What brings you to center? What feels that you belong to that teachings and to that the prayers, whatever, what brings you that feeling of wholeness and that oneness, that feeling of this is it, this is me. And keep exploring, keep asking why, keep asking questions, and you will get there. It may take time and it's back and forth, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

To anyone who's listening and wondering, am I where I'm supposed to be? You are. Am I doing the right thing? You are. You're doing the best that you can with the tools that you have. There's not one path. All paths lead you home.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Everything works out the way it's supposed to. Just ask yourself why you do what you do, and explore and expand. And remember that if it brings up fear, maybe it's not where you need to be looking at, right? That's all we have. Thank you for listening. If there's one thing to sit with from today, the questioning isn't the problem. It's the path. Every question you've ever had about what you were taught was leading you back to yourself. All paths lead you home. Wherever you are right now is the perfect place to start.